Don't feel guilty about it...

Okay, so how about when you've come and he hasn't, but he's taking an age over it? It may be that you simply need to change positions, or find a new position to excite him. This often speeds up sluggish blokes. But if he's on the job... and it's taking for ever... and you¹re shattered... sometimes honesty is simply the best policy. Tell him you're tired and that you need to sleep. Don't feel guilty about it - there will be other times, great times, when you really prioritise his coming. Sometimes, he might even want to stop. You could cuddle him to relax and encourage him to play with himself a bit - it's so much nicer for him to feel he can do this openly rather than in secret when you're asleep.

Another way of tackling the problem of who comes first is to take on the challenge of coming together. Contrary to popular opinion, simultaneous orgasms do not only occur in front of film crews in Hollywood. It's not as hard to come together as you might think and it really does feel wonderful to lie back together in a post-orgasmic stupor. One tactic that can really help with coming together is talking dirty. Look into each other's eyes as you warble obscenities of imagined lust, build the horniness up and up and up, and once one of you senses that the other is about to fall over the edge - let go! You can also bring a vibrator in to help even out the pace of your orgasms - use the vibrator on whoever is slower to come - these really can speed up arousal. If he's the one who's slower, try giving his backside some attention with the vibrator, or let him give your breasts some attention with it while you make love.

Above all, be kind. Accusations of 'You're so selfish!' won't help, no matter how angry you feel. Instead of getting aggressive, the key to getting over these problems is to take responsibility for your own happiness and find a way of making it work without making him feel upset. And remember, making someone come is a skill, and is something that you should both take pride in and work on - but it's work that should be fun and, ultimately, very satisfying...