Before you play...

Yes, men being from Mars and women from Venus, the two sexes look at foreplay from a diametrically different perspective. The woman's view is that she needs a whole lot of foreplay to reach full arousal. For her, kissing, hugging, touching and fondling is as pleasurable as the act of intercourse. The man's view is more basic: I want sex, and I want it now!

This is the commonly held view about the two differing perspectives. But it´s not always true. Those men who can slow down enough to get into the kissing, touching, fondling routine, the sensations feel as good as they do to a woman. If the man can get into the groove, rather than as a means of "just getting there", sex will be a much more enriched and enjoyable experience. He will enjoy it, she will love it and the chances are that you'll have more sex, too.

Sex should be fun and effortless. If you are labouring hard to get your partner to get into a state of arousal, chances are it will take you that much longer to get her going. Make the process a natural progression. Have fun, relax and get into a state of passion and you certainly can't do that if you are concentrating on the effort! Tell her and actually feel that you could fondle her all day. Let her indicate that she is ready for the next step. By the way, she'll be ready to get to the next stage faster if you give her the assurance that you are enjoying just this!

Forget about the planning and the techniques that you have studied in all those books and on the net. Let passion guide you. Her responses will determine whether or not you are pressing the right buttons. Good foreplay comes from discovering what gives each other pleasure rather than a "five minutes here, four minutes there, a couple there and bingo!"

Feel free to explore!

A big complaint women have about how their partners behave in bed is the predictability. There is more to a woman's body than her breasts and vagina. It's time that you set out on a voyage of discovery. See how she reacts to the caressing of her feet, the back of her knee, the crook of her neck, her back, behind her ears. Feel free to touch and taste. In fact, your hands are the most erotic, and sensual part of your body.

Sad thing is that most men just don't touch well. So do yourself and your woman a favour and take a course in eroticmassage. Otherwise, have frequent massage sessions at home, touching her lightly, slowly increasing the pressure. Women love being touched but hate being grabbed!